Thursday, August 6, 2009

Dead weight...

I feel good.. i feel DAMN good... But there's a problem... A problem I can’t ignore... I always told myself I wouldn't do what my dad did to

me when I was growing up, I promised if I had a kid - a son - I would be there for him while he grew up no matter what the cost... and I

have tried I have tried my damn best but where do I draw the line, when is enough enough... I'm tired of the fighting... I'm tired of the

Immaturity level she has - so damn tired... I work too damn hard every day not to be happy, I think I deserve to be happy.. People look at

me sometimes and think I have everything.. my friend told me he wishes he had things like me but what is all of my material bullshit

worth if there’s no love in my life... I honestly can’t even remember what it's like to be -in-love- it's been many many years since I felt that

and I forgot what it’s like... I want to be in love again, none of this matters when I'm not even happy...

Am I making excuses?? Am I trying to make shit up so I won’t feel guilty for giving up on my son?? I’m not giving up on my son… I gave

up on his mother- she’s never going to change, I hoped maybe because she was young she would grow out of it and become more

Responsible and be an adult - i was wrong.... so damn wrong...

I love my son – every time i look at him he brings a smile to my face hes gorgeous and I know shes going to keep him from me... but I

can’t keep living like this... something’s got to change I can’t stay with this chick she’s driving me fucking nuts and I just want to be

Happy..

I'm sorry son - hopefully when your older you will understand... but I can’t stay with this girl anymore - it’s time for me to move on... I'm

Moving on... fuck that!

;DonnY

2 comments:

  1. Well do what you have to do. Your doing so good in life keep on track. You have a cute son hommie.. i am proud how far you have come in life... Hey i had a networking question. I think you would be able to help me . When ever we try to share in our network we can see each other's computers just not access what we set to share. i bet this is a simple fix but i have tried everything you have taught me in the past and i can't fix it... HELP ME LOL

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  2. wow if u dont want us around then tell us....
    so we all can move on.You say im immature look at you, You can't even be honest with us or with other people that you even have a son, you keep saying your done with us but you just keep playing games with both of us. If your not even happy with us then dont keep us around and lie to people, telling everyone he's not yours and that your single. i ask one question Are you single?

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